Have you ever had a watershed moment?
I feel like they come my way every now and again.
What is a watershed moment you ask? A watershed moment is a turning point. It is the exact moment that changes the direction of a situation. It is a dividing point, from which things will never be the same. I have these moments of awesome change that occur in my life, but they are not the type of moments, like when I climbed a huge physical mountain. Rather, these are the small, often quiet, except for the sound of my tears, moments that change me profoundly. They change me in a way that I never thought possible. It is an inner change that is taking place.
Recently I have had a number of these moments. Perhaps it is because we are raising three teenagers at the same time;) or maybe it is because I am seeing that I have more time for me and to think about what I want to do when my children grow up.
In any event, the two recent ones really brought home a monumental point for me. It was not so much what brought on the watershed moment or the realization gained from it, rather it was the power of the moment itself that brought me to a very deep place of faith. It was in this moment recently that I began to recall all of my other watershed moments starting from when I was the tender age of 14 up until the present day.
Each moment was followed by a profound and intense feeling of either sorrow or joy and that brought me to a place of prayer and copious tears followed by a sense of relief.
Somehow the unburdening of the pain or the expressing of my utmost gratitude with the new realization gained and prayer, and lots of tears, brought me a sense of relief. This new sense of relief brought within me a new attitude that forever changed me going forward.
There were two forms of relief. It was the relief that I could finally see how things were getting better, and it was in the knowledge that even in this dark moment, I have Hashem to turn to and He is truly listening to my prayers and is holding my tears and my pain in His hands and heart. The bottom line each time was the same. I am not alone. Hashem is here with me, by my side each step of the way and I am doing the best that I can with the tools that I have at the time and space I am in. I think I find that relief when I turn to Hashem in prayer and put my faith in Him.
I am glad to say, that I have had many watershed moments in the last 25 or so years. It shows how I had transitioned into a young adult and then finally into an adult, but even more so that I continue to grow in my own self development until this day and going forward for 120 years.
Watershed moments change the direction of your life. They bring a flicker of recognition into a dark room. That light ignites within you clarity, hope and a strengthened conviction. It reminds you of your purpose and the meaning in everything you do.
Watershed moments do move mountains; the mountains of pain and confusion that often build inside us until they hit a boiling point and spillover all around us. It is then that we wake up to the clarity and a new reality to build a strengthened self and fresh start. With the holiday of lights upon us, I wish everyone the spark that ignites lasting change that strengthens each one us in our faith and convictions.