INSIGHT OUT By Adina Morris
After one of my blog posts a few months ago, one of my readers reached out to me and asked how I was doing and that I seemed sad. It was a sweet yet strange comment to me. Sweet, as she clearly cared about me:) Strange as I wasn’t feeling sad. I reread the blog she referred to and I went aha. Perhaps I did seem sad, I think distraught would be more accurate though, at the start of the post, however, I was uplifted and hopeful by the end.
We all go through multiple emotions every day, even minute to minute it sometimes feels like! The beauty in what I thought I was attempting to express was that in my profound frustration, I found a wellspring of hope in my connection with Hashem.
Fast forward to a few weeks ago when I was speaking with a friend who mentioned how she saw recently the following handwritten note on a fridge at someone’s house:
Happy moments: Praise Hashem
Difficult times: Seek Hashem
Quiet moments: Pray to Hashem
Painful moments: Trust Hashem
Every moment: Thank Hashem
I found this to be so powerful. Why? Is it not obvious?
When you’re happy, praise, when it’s difficult, seek, thank always…
Well, to me, the not so obvious was the sequence of the list.
We start off with praise when everything is great. And then things shift, and they are not so great. It is at that moment that we seek Hashem, where is His hand in all of this? And then we find ourselves in the quiet moments where we pick up our Siddur and we pray because we do not know or understand or pretend to understand. So we go to the source of everything, Hashem, and we ask for everything under the sun and even things that are not.
And then there are the painful moments. These are the moments when it hurts so much, there are no words, just tears and heartache. This is where the real work is. We need to trust in Hashem. We need to believe that these moments are for the best, our best interest, and for the greater picture that we often have a really tough time seeing. This is where our Bitachon is put under the fire. Do we believe? Can we move forward knowing that this is for the best?
Our job isn’t to question, our job is to pray and trust that at the end of the day, things will turn out for the best. Now, it is really important to keep in mind that things may not turn out the way we want them to. Why not? Because we don’t really know what would be best. We think we do, most of the time. Although, there are definitely times where I daven to Hashem and say, Hashem, I don’t even know what to ask for here. I know we need something to change, but I don’t know what. Please, help us do whatever it is that You think is best and that You want us to do, and please Hashem, let us have the courage and strength to listen to You and do it.
The trust is the glue to all that we do. If we don’t truly believe, then it is really hard to get through those painful moments.
So what am I trusting? Well, I think I am trusting that I am doing all that I can do with the tools that I have, at the moment that I am in, and the rest always was, is, and will continue to be in Hashem’s hands, not mine. This can be tougher for those of us who like to believe we are in control….
So how do I trust?
If I can take that most painful moment and recognize that I am doing everything I can, and then I give the rest up to Hashem, then I have succeeded in trusting and believing in Hashem. I will feel a sense of relief almost because, it is no longer up to me, and in reality, it was never entirely up to me. The burden on my end is to do what I can and then pray, and as a wise man recently told me, then have lots of patience!
And that is why we end off with thanking Hashem. Because, we can only thank at the end once we have gone through the process of recognition, that yes, everything is truly for the best and therefore, I thank Hashem for that too.
These five phrases take me through my ups and downs of what I like to call the roller coaster of my everyday life. Yes, it can be amazing and then all of the sudden sad and then down right tough at times. But as long as I end up on the thankful side, I can trust that everything will turn out for the best.
I intend to take these five phrases and make them part of my every day. Feel free to use and pass on!
Happy moments: Praise Hashem
Difficult times: Seek Hashem
Quiet moments: Pray to Hashem
Painful moments: Trust Hashem
Every moment: Thank Hashem